We have been involved in ministry amongst the poor for many years. We had two scenarios.
• Scenario one: Temporary short term help
• Scenario two: Gainful employment to cultivate a productive lifestyle
The end result of both of these actions ended up not achieving the end goal but ended up in ungratefulness and demanding people. The reason for them is different and I will deal with each one separately.
Short term help
Short term help is based on giving short term help where a crisis occurs. The people don’t have the necessary funds to “pay” or “work” for services rendered. We found out that toxic charity develops because of the “free” help that is given. They claim that it affects their self-image negatively. These are the stages that you will encounter:
• Give once = Appreciation
• Give twice = Anticipation
• Give 3 times = Expectation
• Give 4 times = Entitlement
• Give 5 times = Dependency
A solution to this problem could be to have a different approach. Have a clothes- or foodbank. Make the prices low so that the poor can contribute. If they do not have any money, they can contribute by working in the ministry serving others. A great way of teaching one of the basic principles of serving others to people. It becomes like a normal department store where people will congregate without fear of creating toxic charity. We know of a number of churches that have done this with great success.
Chronic help:
The foundation of our help was to help people help themselves. Longer term development and creating a more sustainable solution for the people.
We had a ministry on the farm where we accommodated people in some of our houses as they did not have work or no money to pay for accommodation. We would give them employment (by contract), accommodation free of charge, a month’s food to start them off until they were paid, and paid them the going wage. In addition, on the spiritual side, we would counsel them and drive them to their church of choice on a Sunday. We also helped with the schooling if they had children, occupational therapy and special classes in subjects. We also committed to assist post school training for the children.
We initially thought that this change in approach would give us more of a success in the ministry. One of the most disturbing experiences has been the ungratefulness of the poor when you assist them in their needs. Our experience has been that the first 3 months things go well and thereafter they become difficult and demanding and at times quite rude. They would at times refuse to do the work that they were employed to do as stipulated in their letter of appointment. They would even resign and go back where they came from. Some of them went back to the bush in a small shack, or a family of 3 living in a back room, etc.
This was a disturbing result as we thought that by protecting their self-worth and showing them a new lifestyle, they would change to adopt a new lifestyle. It was so disturbing to us that we started researching why this was happening as our intent sounded and methods appeared to be right.
We spoke to an occupational therapist. She told us that when people come out of a non-structured environment with no discipline, the discipline over time became spiritual. They would then be confronted with a choice. Go back to their undisciplined past or adopt the new lifestyle. We were told that only 10% would be able to make the change. 90% would opt to go back to the old lifestyle, irrespective of the fact that their employment created wealth for themselves. It was also difficult to understand how you would jeopardize a child’s future. Disturbing as it may be.
We were also involved in a night shelter for a few years. We would assist in the crisis, accommodation for a few days, and then start the process of evaluation with a development program for the individual. Ultimately we would secure them gainful employment whilst still staying at the shelter, but they had to pay a minimum amount for their accommodation and two meals per day. It was disheartening to see some of them come home at night and plead poverty whilst you can see they have bought cigarettes and other goods with their money. Eventually one had to practice tough love. No pay – no accommodation. Some of them ended back on the streets.
Again we found out that the success rate was very low. It also takes a lot of support staffto work with the poor if you want to have some success. That includes physical, mental, spiritual, skills training, etc. I have also learnt that, although you have done everything you possibly could, at the end of the day you cannot be accountable for what people decide and only God through His Holy Spirit can change people. It has however not changed our approach to help and assist people in need. One has to live with a low % of successes. Heartbreaking, especially where children are involved. You build up a relationship with the children and then have to let them go back into an unhealthy environment.
One of our success stories is a young couple that was desperate for accommodation. They were on one of our Alpha courses. The Lord sometimes gives me a person’s face during our Holy Spirit weekend that I as leader have to pray for and focus on. On these camps I do not lead a group but is on standby to give help where needed. Every time I enquired about this young man, the leaders reported that they made no progress and that he was just quiet, not speaking a word!
On the Sunday we have a Word for the guests and we have communion. Then we close of the camp. The whole time I was effectively wrestling with God about this man. It was a traumatic experience. I was busy packing up my equipment with a very sad heart when someone tapped me on my shoulder. It was him! “Can I please speak to you?” he asked. We went aside and he came to Christ through the working of the Holy Spirit. I saw the right vision, I heard the voice of the Lord, and the Lord made my desire a reality. All glory to Him.
For some unknown reason, not really unknown, we had the feeling to invite him and his wife to the farm for a weekend. We started a relationship and he lost his employment and she had to resign as her then boss hounded her that she felt that she was going to lose her baby. She was pregnant.
Without thinking twice, we invited them to stay in one of the houses. They both come out of unloving homes. His wife later came to Christ at another Alpha camp. He has no family and has adopted us as his parents and my daughters as his sisters. He eventually was employed again and she started her own business. They will never be rich but they can pay their way. He has health issues that the doctors struggle to find out what it is. He was also healed from cancer. He will soon be working for me on the farm as I have a problem walking right now and we are getting older. It is going to be a challenge, but I now know that my role will be to mentor both of them. They also need guidance in their marriage. Mentoring gives us older people a new lease on life. Irrespective of the issues they are always grateful and willing to help where help is needed. That makes a huge difference when people show gratitude for what God does for them.
They have been here almost 6 years and their son that has just turned 5 and is one of our adopted grandchildren. What a delight and blessing!
We have spent an enormous amount of money in helping and trying to restore people’s lives with the help of the Lord. Our success has been limited. But I have no regret spending the money as all I have is the Lord’s. I showed them a new fulfilling lifestyle. They are responsible for the choices they made. And the mistakes we made in the process have given us more wisdom when dealing with the poor.
I want to say that any help given should always be accompanied by the Gospel. People must know why we do what we do. Not to get thanks, but so that God will get the glory. However, when people are hungry, it is not of much use to try and proclaim the Gospel. You have to meet their urgent needs and then proclaim the Gospel,
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